


Comprehensive Romance History

by flowersheep



Series: Texts From Last Night [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11843760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersheep/pseuds/flowersheep
Summary: A look at Merlin's past relationships, curtesy of Freya.Brought to you by Morgana.





	Comprehensive Romance History

“Morgana says I have bad taste in men,” Merlin said. Freya blinked, coming up for air for the first time in- she checked her phone- well over two hours since she’d started on her homework. Honestly, the exercise for architecture class wasn’t that difficult, but Freya was majoring in it for a reason and that reason was that she was obsessed with it. It was more interesting than her English homework, at least. 

“What?”

“Morgana says I have bad taste in men,” Merlin repeated. He’d either finished his homework or given up on it in favor of lying back on the couch and contemplating his love life. 

“Only time and a comprehensive study of all your relationships will tell,” Freya said. “But I can see where she’s coming from.” Merlin frowned at her.

“How so?”

“Edwin.”

“...Okay, yeah, he was a dick,” Merlin admitted. To be fair, Edwin hadn’t seemed like a dick when they first met him. The scars on his face were a little off putting, but easy enough to ignore once you got used to them. The problem was that around the time you got used to the scars you also started to become aware that Edwin was a jealous, angry prick with a serious overconfidence problem. “Still, not all my exes are like Edwin.”

“I don’t even remember all your exes.” It was a surprisingly long list for someone who’d only been alive for two decades. “One of them was Cenred, right?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Merlin wrinkled his nose in disgust. Cenred the handsome, wealthy grad student had swept Merlin off his feet for about three weeks. Then Merlin had caught him banging some hot blond woman who turned out to be Morgana’s cousin or half sister or something. Needless to say, that hadn’t worked out too well.

“So that’s two,” Freya said. “Didn’t you date Julius Borden?”

“I like to pretend I didn’t.”

“And Gwaine.”

“No, I had a one night stand with Gwaine. And besides the fact that he’s not really my type, he’s completely tits over arse for Percy.” Merlin frowned. “Also, exactly what’s wrong with Gwaine? He’s one of my best friends, you know. After you and Will of course.”

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with him,” Freya corrected. “I’m just listing all the guys you dated. In fact, if you’d dated Gwaine instead of just sleeping with him that would’ve been a point in your favor. But you didn’t, so…Gilli.”

“There was nothing wrong with Gilli.”

“Except the part where he proposed to you in the middle of a pub after you guys had only been dating for three months.”

“He was _drunk_.”

“Think about it, Merlin. Why would he propose to you while drunk if he hadn’t already been thinking about it while sober? Did you ever date Mithian or did I hallucinate that?”

“For a bit. Mostly to keep her dad off her back while she figured out how to tell him she’s a lesbian and in love with Elena Godwin.”

“Didn’t Arthur date Elena?”

“Their dads wanted them to get married, but no, they never dated. Just hung out a lot. Which everyone assumed meant they were dating because straight people have this weird thing where they think men and women can’t be friends without wanting to screw each other.”

“Ah, that’s right. Oh! I know! Nimueh!”

Merlin groaned and rolled over to bury his face in the couch cushion. 

“Well, I think that just proved Morgana’s case,” Freya said, turning back to her work. “You’re taste in men is definitely pretty bad. And your taste in women seems to be somewhat questionable as well.”

“Oh fuck you.”


End file.
